a corner of mylife~~~

how i spend my annual leave at my hometown

2009-08-25T02:05:00.002+08:00

Last 2 weeks im back to my hometown, Kuantan.
Everything is so peaceful there. And especially my parents were there.
Life was so nice on that 4 days. As compared to Cyberjaya, at least I wont feel lonely and wont feel unsafe.
Well, that few days was nice enough for me.
My mum, who were still working as an assistant to a pet grooming shop. As cheerful as ever although she didn't admit miss both of her sons. :P
long time didn't eat dishes made by mum, as I enjoy her cooking. The feel was nice. Feel comfortable.
Her cooking was tasty. Well now their life is a bit quite as compared when my younger brother is still having his form 6 studies at my hometown. To compared when all of us are together, I still fell something is missing. Something that makes our life merrier, is the arrival of all family members. Even without 1 of them, life would not be that merrier.

Somehow to think of it, both of them were old already. When looking at them, I felt kind of wanting to take care of them. And mum gives me a shock by showing her hand bitten by 1 of the dog. As per her words, actually the would is quite deep. Its just she doesn't want her sons to be so worried over her. Well, mum was tough. Tough enough to handle our lives during our darkest hours. She was tough, a lady that do indeed I respect the most at all times.
From here, all housework is be done by me. What mum can do is to eat and sit and rest. I will handle everything. :)

our home becomes cleaner, I wonder is it because the both of us were not there for quite sometime.
Bro had gone to UMS (UNIVERSITI MALAYA SABAH) and im working at Cyberjaya.
That is 1 thing should be happy with because normally we will create havoc in our home.
Now mum and dad alone in the house. Less people stay, more cleaner. (mum is glad about this)
my beloved PC that I didn't touch for so long ever since I got my laptop, still functioning and perform at its best.

Those 4 days, keep accompanying my parents, dad off on Sunday. We went out whole day, doing quite lot of stuff also. And on Monday is my mum's off day, we went for a nice breakfast. We chat whole day in the house and cook together. Even if my friends calls to have a drink, on the last day only I go out with them and drank about an hour then I will be going back to prepare for my next day departure.
The next day, where the day I doesn't hope going back so soon but no choice. Still have to work.
As I going out from my house, I keep on asking myself a few questions.

they are old now rite?
Is it time for me to go back take care of them?
Can I sustain myself back in my hometown as compare to Cyberjaya?
A house that suppose to be noisy and merrier had become quiet, can this be repaired?
Where is my duty stands? For the family or myself?

This is the possible questions I asked myself and, the answer haven't be found yet.
Maybe through time to time, I may find the way for the answer I'm searching.
I doesn't want to follow any living example, I want to follow to my own instinct to obtain it.
As for now, the objective is for me to secure my needs in order for me to advance through.
Can human really undergone changes? And in which sort of changes can a human have? I doesn't have the answer yet. Well, if I have the answer. I will sure post up in my blog again.

Anyhow, I will be looking forward for my gathering at UTAR kampar, and maybe will visit my dear at ipoh. I hope to see her too. Sigh~~ miss her so much.

mEng LunG

HOW I SPEND THE DAY AT 22, 23 AND 24 MAY 2009

2009-05-27T02:40:00.002+08:00

its been 1 week after my 1st anniversary of relationship with my dear,
dear came to meet me at kl that time and its actually a 1 day trip but eventually she overnight at her cousin's house.

So on 22 I set course to find my dear at ipoh.
On 21, im working at 4pm to 12.30am shift. Therefore I travel on the next day.
So far so good, bus at 8.50am and I had arrive there earlier than expected. Thank god!
I have myself 2 buns as temporary breakfast before I am at ipoh.

After 3 hours journey, at long last, im at my dear's hometown already!! its been almost 1 month I haven't meet my dear and this feeling is so pity. Imagine what is life if didn't meet my own girl friend for a month.
Hahaha

dear meet me at bus station and we went to eat chicken rice, normally I do eat chicken rice but those are malay type of chicken rice ( nasi campur ayam ). and this is a chinese shop! We ordered our favorite, siew yuk!! damn nice.... hard to tahan the taste, if kena h1n1 also worth... kakakaka.

That night we ( me and my gal's family member ) went for a bbq steamboat meal. A BUFFET STEAMBOAT meal. You can eat all you want, I haven't been eating such buffet since graduated from university last year's MAY. Omggg... the amount I eat, cant blame I am so fat now... but im so happy...
hehe...

lastly we went back home with bbq steamboat smell... damn syoik... but before that, I thought of walking at pasar malam... dear says she is sleepy already, real pig... eat already and waiting to sleep.. =_=”.. lastly we went to bed to sleep.

The next morning, as usual... my breakfast is IPOH DIMSUM!!! haha, my fav.... har quin, lo mai kai, chu cheong fan, and my fav char siew pau..... I don't mind paying as long as I can eat this!! me and dear also eat a lot that time but she reserve her stomach to eat indian briyani rice...

at lunch we did eat indian rice, but I didn't touch anything... when I see her rice... I already full... the portion of rice is too much, until I have to sapu for dear.... I also cant take it much more... so full!!!!

eventually, we went back and ready to take car for servicing.
At this place, I am so sorry.... I am so sorry to say harsh words to my dear... and I made her angry... hope I wont made her angry anymore... she is so mad at me until sobbing on her bed when we back home after that... I am very sorry dear, I just thought im joking... I didn't take it seriously... I know how your feelings to me... I love u... muackss...
but....... this time, I was lucky... I hope wont happen to make the same mistake again.

At that nite, we went to another buffet dinner... it was a house warming, her parents are invited... and she took me along... the food there was normal, the catering is okay... still consumable... hahahah!
Me and dear eat quite a lot there... both is P.I.G but we did have a walk after the meal. We went to tesco, I was looking for my magazine and she was looking hers... late at night, we retire ourself to bed as well and preparing for tomorrow.

Sobs sobs... I will be leaving dear soon.....

on 24th, we ate the yong ytau fu that was supposed to be the famous of all shops in ipoh, the taste was okay... quite expensive also...
later that, I board the bus and head back to kl again.

I hope next month I got opportunity to meet my dear again... I really hope I can be by her side 24/7 but that was too far from real... haih... I missed u so much dear.... this few days, somehow I felt emptiness within me... eat alone, talk also through the phone, sleep also alone, at house relaxing also alone... life was very very empty at now, but... I know that I can count on you... I can feel ur with me when im eating, I talk on phone also with you, I sleep also hugging the pillow thinking of you, and at house relaxing also thinking of chatting with you...

I really hope what I've dream will come true...

mEng LunG

Happy 1st anniversary

2009-05-14T23:31:00.001+08:00

haha... so fast 1 year already pass by, today is me and my dear's 1st year anniversary being together. Time flow so fast, its like a blink and a year is gone.

Well, hope everything on us will run smooth for the next and a next next next years!!
kaka... hope we go through all obstacles in the our lives...

this few months, a lot tension rising from me and dear. Almost every time want to quarrel, I think this happen because we are separated far a part from each other. Sometime we do feel lonely, at the same time cant help each other. Thus, small problems start to rise up. Small problems normally could be serious if didn't solve it as it will accumulates.

But im not afraid, I have her by my side. We will create our future together.

Sometimes, when I called her on the phone. She seems to just answered like eg; erm, har, hi, hu.
As a customer service officer, this bring signs that she is probably not listening or not paying attention to the speaker. I hope she do change about this. Sometimes I feel like I want to hear more words by her, not like im doing self talk. You imagine, alone at cyberjaya, no friends here, just facing laptop at off work time and lastly face the phone at working time. What I need is some interaction from at least my girl friend. I didn't hope there is improvement on other side, just on this time I wanted some improvement from this. I do hope this problem will be solved.

As for other stuff, I don't see where is the necessary reason to change, I think the current problem I am facing is this only. Its tired when taking 80 calls per day, or may be I have a hard day at work. Customer service, work that demands you to pick up shit from others or the company. Of coz when hanging on the phone with my dear sure want to listen to what she say. At least there are times that I wont need to talk so much as like working. If in this case, means I've been working after off work too( talk to much per day = non stop productivity)

I do really hope we both can improve this type of communication. To me, it is like a 1 side communicating where I just talk non stop and she was just listening non stop. Either if there is any feedback, I wont until she voice it out. Communication is important, and couples are at 2 distances must really communicate well so assure more commitment can be presented into a relationship. The most important thing is that both couple must have a good understanding from each other, and how a couple can be close to 1 another if only a side does all the talk but another side was just listening/ didn't listen at all.

As for time being, me and dear already 1 year, congratulate to both of us. Hope we can go through a lot more obstacles as per now or the future. I believe that we can do it for this time, other times and at all timess. Well, I would like to express the most love to my dear. I hope she knows where is her position in me. And I hope she knows how important she can be to me.

I love you my dear, I hope to hold your hand for this lifetime. Please kindly do accept my offer ya, I'll write a proposal for this and hope will get your signature to approve. ;-)

menglung

Shall Never Surrender

2009-04-27T04:03:00.003+08:00

I listen to this song.
I really love it.

Especially the music and the rhythm.

Its nice, rock at opening and ending with softer music.

This song came from a game I played b4,

DeViL MaY Cry 4~~

This is the 4th version of the series and the past 3 series as just as good as this.
The most improvement is on their graphics.
The texture and feature of this game is good and surely need a quite updated graphic card to handle it~

This version,
Starting with a boy called Nero with a demonic arm try to saves his girl friend from abduction from demons.
The story was nice, a lot combo can be made and to those who like combo-ing.
They will definitely love this game.
Previous successor, Dante from previous version are available to being controlled in mid game.

However, as the prologue Dante is on the evil side to kill some high priest called Sanctus.
I even thought Dante who sealed demon world is turning against human.
But eventually he have his motives behind all his doing.
The ending is about this “duo hero” battle against the high priest itself and he is a demon with a bit physical body shape as an angel. Both plays their part. And both were so cool~~
A demon trying to be and angel? Yeah... fine, you guys out there probably hate Sanctus.

The game brings a lot about Nero. Well as for Dante fans, may be Nero would be the main character someday. Who knows? But I love Dante as the main character since I have been playing the version before. He is the so called “foundation” of this game. Without Dante, Devil May Cry wont exist.
Anyhow, no matter who will be the future main character. I do enjoy both as well. Hope you guys try this game. Although this is not a very new game, I enjoyed it a lot.

Devil May Cry forever as long as there is a heart in them. ;-)

below is the song lyrics.

1 ending and 1 prologue.

Album / Collection: Devil May Cry 4 OST

Sung By Jason "Shyboy" Arnold

The time has come and so have i
I laugh last cause you came to die
The damage done, the pain subsides,
And i can see the fear glim when i look in your eye

I never kneel and i never rest. (rest)
You can tear the heart from my chest (my chest)
I'll make you see what i do best,
Of succeed as you breath your very last breath (last breath)
Now i know how the angel fell, (angels fell)
I close the tale and i know it too well,
I make you wish you have sold your soul,
When i take you down and send you straight to hell

My army comes from deep within
Beneath my soul beneath my skin
As sure I'm ending I'm about to begin,
My strengthness pain and i will never give in
I'll tell you now I'm the one to survive,
You never pray, my feet, my stride
I'll have you choke on your own demise,
I make the angels scream
(And the devil cry)

My honored brethen
(My honored brethen)
We come together
(We come together)
To unite as one
(To unite as one)
Against those that are damned
(Against those that are damned)
We show no mercy
(We show no mercy)
For we have none
(For we have none)
Our enemies shall fall
(Our enemies shall fall)
As we uprise
(As we uprise)
To claim our fate
(To claim our fate)
Now and forever
(Now and forever)
We'll be together
(We'll be together)
Love and hate
(We love and hate)

They will see, we'll fight until eternity,
Come with me, we'll stand and, fight together.
Through our strength, we'll make a, better day, tomorrow,
We, shall never surrender

They will see, we'll fight until eternity,
Come with me, we'll stand and fight together,
Through our strength, we'll make a better day tomorrow,
We, shall never surrender

They will see, we'll fight until eternity,
Come with me, we'll stand and fight together,
Through our strength, we'll make a better day tomorrow,
We, shall never surrender

They will see, we'll fight until the eternity,
Come with me, we'll stand and, fight together.
Through our strength, we'll make a, better day, tomorrow,
We, shall never surrender

(We shall never surrender)
(We shall never surrender)

Out Of Darkness

Listen to my voice calling you,
Pulling you out of darkness.
Hear the devil's cry of sin,
Always turn your back on him.

With the wind you go,
Still I dream of your spirit leading you back home.
I will give my gifts to you,
Grow your garden,
watch it bloom.

The light in your eyes is an angel up high,
Fighting to ease the shadow side.
Hearts will grow though having to bend,
Leaving behind all things in the end.

Listen to my voice calling you,
Pulling you out of darkness.
Hear the devil's cry of sin,
Always turn your back on him.

Well, this 2 songs. Reminds me of something.

Not to surrender

and

Not to do anything bad.

Not matter what happen, there will be always a solution.
Do not cross to a dark path, things wont be the same when you step in it.
Don't surrender so easily when there is hardship as we must solve every problem arises.
Don't lose hope, there will be always a way. Find the way.

mEng LunG

im worrying for you

2009-03-22T21:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I really don't know how to tell her...

I want to actually help her family as well, but I don't know what I can help.
She wants to help her family so much, will this be our greatest challenge 'WE' must face or 'SHE' must face.?
What I mean is, will she share up her burden with me?
I don't want her to be so stressed up with her life. I want to be a part in her life too. But for these time, can I tell her what I felt?
What I'm afraid is that I have being a part of her pressure also. But can I eventually just keep my feelings?

This puzzles me a lot actually, me and my family also does have financial difficulties during previous years before this economic down turn, but we can go it through. Or maybe what me and my family face during the past years is not that serious that her. But look at the bright side, me and my family share for this burden. With myself studying at kl, and they keep saving money on their daily essentials usage. Doesn't this gives me impact on my part as the eldest child of the family?

For what I can say is that, in bad times... do save a lot, instead of using air con.. why not use our ceiling fan? As for our meals, dinner, lunch and breakfast that costs a lot.. why not change to meals that are simpler and most importantly it is a full meal.

I believe that in bad times due to economic downturn, there will be something good to make our lives more meaningful. Be more conservative, use other alternative than using expensive materials. Use ceiling fan more than air con, cut lesser expenses on utilities and of coz expenses on other stuff. Go for cheap meals than dining in expensive restaurants.

The most crucial thing is where sharing comes into life. Share burden along with all family members. If 1 brain is not enough to think then there is a few more brains to assist a person too. Don't worry, there will be a lot of choices in life but is that how a person want to choose and how to initiate their action on it. I don't believe that when time is bad for now, it wont go better on the future. Be patient, be strong and don't lose hope. When there is hope, there is a way. Find the way.

What I want to express here is, I am always here when you need me. Please remember there is a love one who very care about you and not just you alone, Is about the whole of you and your family as well.

Meng Lung

A great weekend for me and dear~~( 7 March 2009 )

2009-03-09T20:11:00.009+08:00

A great weekend for me and dear~~
last saturday and sunday, me and dear have a good time together.
Its a longtime we didnt have good times together, haha... 2 weeks without her is like a few months didnt meet each other.

I arrive late on friday around 11pm, that time we went to eat Ipoh “nga choy kai” taugeh chicken~~ haha... nice la, but abit salty... after that we went to a pasar malam just beside the place we eat dinner..
that pasar malam is pity, nothing much can see, buy, and walk... walking in the pasar malam that dont seem to be a pasar malam.... weird.... anyhow, we went back after that~

The next day, that is saturday, we went to TM to cut and enquire bout streamyx stuffs... stupid streamyx, cant use back old account, need pay rm75 to reapply and activate the new account... what da heck....
so dear cut her Sg Long streamyx line and we left TM to our next destination.

Now... at parade, I plan to eat buffet with her but I cant seem to have any idea... after a lot time searching on the net, at last.... the shop name is “Iro Iro” japanese style buffet.... cheap and nice for the price of RM30 plus taxes... but.... the shop open its buffet at nite at 6pm... hahaha

at the mean time, we walk and shop at parade, bought 2 shirts... ate western at “Junction Kopitiam”... walk whole of parade... kakakaka...
western is nice, I ordered fish and chip while dear ordered nuggets... both is delicious and cheap too~~
me and dear enjoy ourselves for that meal... nice ya ;-)

the plan of my dear to hang out with her ex-colleagues were cancelled, 1 car accident, 1 having exam, another 1's mum is discharged from hospital, so the plan were cancelled... dear feel quite sad also, coz bad things happened to her ex-colleagues.... aiksss

so we went back after that, while waiting until 6pm for our big meal

at the time we went there, just have a couple dining on that shop.. our 1st impression is this meal is not that great, but when we are in.... everything changes... there were sushi, tepanyaki, steamboat with twin soup, and the normal fry rice and spaghetti~~ everything was fine, meals were ok but what I expect if comparing with a RM66 japanese buffet meal at 1 Utama “SHOGUN”

ahha, finish... paid and go have a walk, me and dear cant move to much and fast as our tummy is filled with food, imagine la... pay rm30 and need eat back rm60 value of food.... think twice when u do that, you'll end up losing it at toilet later.... kakakakakakakka... yucks~!!!

on sunday, we went to jusco.... we ate there, shop abit stuff there and guess what....... WE WENT FOR A MOVIE, hahahahahahahahhahahahaha.... Im so happy is becoz the fact that both me and dear didnt step on cinema for our past 6 months.... we watch that new singapore movie, erm.... I give a rating of 3 out of 5 to that movie, but we have our fun time in there... listen to ppl snoring in da cinema, good man.... hahaha

so, in that day... nothing special happens so I end it up here. I reach Cyberjaya at around 4pm on Monday, tired, exhausted, and indeed im very miss my dear.... dear, I wish we could have such good times together a little bit longer... muacks... we'll have our chances some other day~~ :-*

mEng LunG

our nite~~ EPISODE 1 Sunday, Feb, 2009 at 11.13pm

2009-02-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

Dear dear dear~~ our 1st valentines~~
hehe... I'm so happy to know you like it... the things I gave you, the surprise there for you and the moment we had together. Your smiles still are fresh in my mind even if you are away from me. Hehe..
dear dear, to me... I know I am not a good bf, those whom don't have a car at the age of 24 this year and a person who is not capable to have the necessary money to buy you something for some occasion. I just want you to know that I will do my best to save the best thing for you and I'll get the worst of it.
Anyhow, me and you... I hope I can be with together. Muacksss

so, the day goes like this :

supposely I go meet dear at 10am at Puduraya yesterday, but I wake up late (hehe... excited, she come tmr ma) so I reach there around 10.30am la... sorry sorry ya... we rearrange another meeting at Jalan Hang Tuah coz we plan to go Sg Wang shopping on that day... kaka... damn Monorail, I hate their signboard and grumppy dear very “beh song”(angry) me dy... of coz la, late already plus go wrong platform... kena, betul-betul kena damn “gao lat” de... fuh, imagine la... tiger wins dragon... I cant believe it... hahahahaha...

we arrive eventually... thank god~~ if not, I lagi kena more... certainly that day was so damn hot... candle can melt when kena sun light, so I kena from dear again again... really tak habis habis kena 1... but luckily she is not so siu hei... hahaa thx dear, muack muackzzzz... we went 1 shop by 1 shop looking for clothes... seriously, what I saw was “all RM25, RM 10 or RM20” and a word “ NO TRYING” what da fuck! Cheap but no trying, what da fuck is this.. is buy then not fit, come change back again?? then 1 more word “ NO REFUND” I lagi furious... so dear just bought 1 working attire, others cant try, how we dare buy??? so so so stupid... Consumer Association didnt do anything izit??? or dont have any complaints done?? omgggg... but lucky, if not... I gotta take a lot things from dear, kakakakakaka... joking only~~

then we went to Times Square, I think I like here better than Sg Wang... decoration is better, at least got valentine feel~ poor dear, her slippers made her feet pain so she had bruises and we decide its better to have a new pair of slippers that without straps or anything that can hurt her foot... we bought RM10 slipper, she wore it and felt relieve... of coz, I saw a bit blood... see also heart pain la.. aikss~~ good if she felt better...hehehe.... again, “ALL RM 10 and NO TRYING” is almost appeared on all shops... buy clothes also lost its freedom... what da heck~~

at last, its goin back time!!! we took Monorail to KL Central and take KLIA express!! RM9.50 per journey!!!! omggg.... journey to Putrajaya is damn expensive!! no choice, no bus there... bad luck o... so hot and no bus... so we wait until aboard KLIA express...and lastly took KL Rapid back Cyberjaya, at home.. we watch the TVB drama, last 2 episodes... try the DVD I bought at Sg Wang and rest abit before going dinner.. hehe, time is running fast, im damn tired now... gotta have a good sleep, I'll try to continue nextime~~ wait for EPISODE 2!

Days were empty without you~~ Tuesday, 10th February 2009 at 8.22pm

2009-02-10T20:20:00.004+08:00

I miss my dear so much, although just for half an hour i still misses her alot. Really have alot differences when im always with you compared to times without you by myside. It felt like my another part is missing, no matter what i do... there are something weird, its a feeling... a weird feeling. Some people says that a single left hand is not completed without its right hand. Well im a left hander myself, i assume you are my right hand... hahaha...
dear dear, i really felt what i loss here. And it reflects me of things im doing when at work. I am like lost in the mist, run everywhere but end up being inthe same direction and same path. i felt your becoming near and near to being a part of me, you really completes my life now. And i dont want it to turn back to be what i was lastime. Your power is too great until can change me until this stage. The person who simply talks and simply tease people back then had gone and now Im with a new attitude. Even the people who is "ham sap" is no more "ham sap" anymore.. even if pretty gals or hot gals walk through i didnt take a peek also.
Imagine, this person was an enemy to everyone when comes into talking and woo-ing gals can become so straight and simply to say... im changed.... Those people who knows me for sure they thought im a "monk".. namoamithabat..... hahaha... anyhow, this new attitude will direct me to creating my own good life and family which were still miles away from me... hehe
hope i can be with you everytime and everyday... just want to be with you...

mEng Lung

my day in Cyberjaya....~~

2009-02-05T21:37:00.004+08:00

My 1st day at Cyberjaya.... the city where empty spaces a lot and companies here keep going bankruptcy and most weird of all.... MAKAN PLACES IS DAMN LESS.... 5 fingers can count all... hahaha... and most important of all..... whole town is pork free... hahahhaa.... imagine, life without char siew and siew yuk... I dun see any chinese hawker here also... mee kicap and any other chinese cuisines... not available at here... yeah, although pay is high, but stay here..... your health line keep dropping.... kakaka... person whom doesn't have transport, damn kesian... at nite nothing to eat and cant go anywhere.... I've been into such life but lucky I bought myself a laptop . DELL INSPIRON 1420, not bad... duo core and 4gb memory, plus 2 years warranty... rm 3210... plus all small gadgets... hahahhah.... but seriously... there is not much time can use also... need to study products each time back home... and need sleep early also, ready up for tmr.. waking earlier and go take bus... haha... but lucky I'm in training so my working place is near to my rented house.. also in Cyberjaya, next to MMU... so, taking bus there will be easier and the fare is RM1 for 2 trip, back and forth... KL rapid ma, unlimited usage per ticket... and there is 2 shuttle bus is free of charge... so actually getting to my work place is not that difficult... the problem comes when I'm going into floor with other colleagues. Ohya, I'm currently working at E2 POWER sdn bhd, a sup company of OCBC bank. But, I'm not registered as sup company workers... I'm an OCBC staff, receives any benefits as same with any other same colleagues on my same level of employment... lucky, bcoz some of them is contract workers and they are really pity... for what the reason of it, I wont tell la... hahahaa...

Anyhow, this company provides a lot training for us, contact center workers... our trainer, Ching Ching very good to us, delivering the product information made easy to us also... haha... well, colleagues also ok... all can chat.... the total of this batch is juz 16 people... 3 males 13 females, 3 chinese; 1 female and 2 chinese male( i'm too in this category), 1 malay guy and 9 malay female, 3 female indians... confusing rite? Nvm... 16 people within this batch... hahahaha
what I can say is, almost all is my elder sisters... so we get a lot pretty well... and most important of all, we are not racism... all go lunch and break together... hehehe... quite a good start for planning my career... although this job is not as easy as what we seen, believe me.. its not as easy as what it seems... to me, I find that all jobs are not as easy as it seems... what you'll need is a good knowledge of the job and a tough training to get yourself ready up for the job...i just can say that I'm ready for every challenge this this field... seriously, I had my trial product test on monday and get my result yday “and” its not what I expected, the score is so low but lucky it wont affect my real final exam.. and TODAY, 5 February 2009 is product test... luckily I will pass and the passing rate as high as 85%.... imagine how many wrong answer you can give...omggg... all had passed now, im striving for my next test, systems and simulation.... this both is the toughest of all.... haha

Well..... all this comes when “someone” is supporting me at my back... without her, im nothing.... true, I'm so down, and she made me motivated to go on... seriously, fallen warrior wont rise so easy... affection made someone back from the death with a power life force... that is what we call, L.I.F.E... and comes with a word S.U.R.V.I.V.A.L.....you wont be that happier by dealing everything by yourself... you maybe independent but it doesnt mean your not in needs..... you get what I mean??? so, if got anything that pressures you, dont try to find alternatives such as smoking or go get urself hunger or what... those are excuses, especially smoking... I dont believe it at all... I prefer go to my love ones and tell them how we felt for a thing... dont keep it to yourself... hazardous to yourself... ahhahahahaa
ok... time to stop.... my long blog... haha.... see ya nextime, very soon~

mEng LunG

The Title of This Post is CHOON PUI

2009-01-08T11:10:00.003+08:00

I love my dear.

After all these months, I felt that it’s hard to get on with my life without you. All the laughter, all the joy, and all the moments we have… its all fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I dunno really know how much deep I loved you for, it felt like I’m out of direction when you’re not around me. My mind is blank and so as my soul. It’s like so hard without seeing your face even for an hour.

Now, I had my job. And thanks for you who made impossible to be so possible. To me, you gave me the motivation and determination to go fort with every obstacles in front of me. Seriously, if there are no you around me, it won’t happen. Maybe I’ll be sunk deeper into a colder abyss or drown into it without noticing how I die.

I have to admit that, there are 3 months we didn’t meet each other and this was bad to anyone of us. But I have to lie myself in order to get myself being positive thinking. I kept asking questions to myself like;

What is my dear doing?
Where is my dear currently?
How safe is my dear, hope to protect her.

Well all these question build me up in me that I’ll hang on and won’t lose hope of you when we seldom meet each other. All I want to say is, this is really a test for us, a test of faith between us. I seriously telling that I want to be with you as long as possible, I want to marry with a person like you, I want you to be my last person ever I love in this world.

I can say that you’re a person who really completes me, the smells that attracts me and the feeling you gave me really is some kind of things that I love bout you. Well, I can surely tells you that I’m a really serious type when into relationship and I am willing to sacrifice every good stuff for you and I will get the bad stuff for myself.

My feelings were too great for you; I can’t stop myself for loving you too deep now. I really do love you a lot.
I really like to appologize to you for everything i've done. and i regret doing such thing.

Lastly, I hope you do read this blog of mine. I dun want you to think that whether I’ve lost feelings for you or you’re not important to me anymore. I want you to know that you are someone who really completes my life not just now and its forever. And now i had a job, i'll try to best to be a good bf whom you can surely count on.

I love you, Choon Pui.

from: mEng LunG

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 at 1.21pm

2008-12-24T12:56:00.010+08:00

Hehe.. This is my 1st blog for someone I love~~

Last Friday I went Ipoh to see Dear, omg… it was almoz 8 hours from 9am to 4.30pm plus this stop and that stop @_@ I reach around 5.15pm. The journey was okay.. And I would recommend the bus company called “konsortium express”… our local bus company. These buses were spacious, with my kind of height and body size.. I can fit very well.. So to those kuci-rats(small size individuals) don’t worry. What I’m afraid is too much space made you feel uncomfortable. You know that bus doesn’t provide seat belt so the inertia could cause to throw back and forth.

I reach there and find hanyit while waiting for my Dear arrive. So we went jusco, go Mc. D for our 1 year once prosperity burger… omgggggggggg… really so gao lat... damn syiok~~ very enjoy~~ hahaha…

Around 5.20pm, she arrives there earlier than us.. Lastly I meet her.. omgggg again… the feeling of meeting her back relieves me from a lot of stress and tension on myself… well, I wanna hug her but the amount of people crowding at Mc. D was like an ant hill…. Feel paiseh, what to do~

We eventually have prosperity burger that we planned before having ideas bout goin to Mc.Ds…

Dear says doesn’t wanna eat but I still insisted to give her a bite of mine… that time was special… the long time look of her face was brought out by eating my pros burger.. I wish I could see her eat more too~ hahahaha… maybe she’ll be fatter when I’m always being with her.. Well, this is something I love bout her, of coz I wanna see it more often… hoho~

After that, we went window shopping spree with hanyit, this fellow tries to buy a wallet for his girl-friend.. And we search for everywhere on jusco for it… some of it was expensive, some of it was ugly, some of it looks a bit shady like old woman’s wallet and etc… until a time he cant take it, he told us go walk ourselves… he say paiseh wan us accompany him go find, both of us did walk whole jusco but we found ourself nothing to be bought here… aikss

At the end of the day, we went home through the raining day.. The Rain was so heavy that I could barely see, it made Dear drives slowly… even with specs, it was no use.. too heavy…

8 hours of journey in da bus makes me damn tired so I decided to sleep early…

The next day, fulamak~~ dimsum at morning… syok o~ walao wei… how come Ipoh people wont be fat… the dimsums is damn damn damn delicious… once you bite, it wont stop… wash~ I cant barely take it when come to think of it… omgggggggg… but bare in mind that, no matter how nice the dimsum is, the price also will be nice… unavoidable… paying for it was worth… hahahahaha

We ate until almoz rm20.70 which I could say its cheap because, kuantan the ulu place even got higher price with the amount we ate that time… hahaha… whole stomach bloated… we really gluttonizes dimsums until cant fit anything into our mouth… my goodness,, the “har quin” and “sui mai” walao wei… makan like no other business. But Dear dun eat prawns, quite a waste for her and I gave those she can eat such as fry sotong balls, glutinous rice( lo mai kai) and the ever nice “char siu pao”.. with juz rm20.70 I felt it was worth eating happily with Dear~~

After that, we went shopping.. at parade, I have to agree for women there are tones of stuffs to buy with a limited amount of money… Dear wanna buy a few clothes but she didn’t coz the price was not so good… aikss.. but lastly she bought a beg, and it’s a white 1… quite ok.. Suits her very much and its was at a reasonable price, around rm 39 or 49… both of us walk whole parade a few rounds but we took extra turns to Watsons and Guardian because Dear wanna buy her lotion, make up remover, lenses sterile and etc… Dear says she can feel each rm 50 are removing from her purse.. Haha… yaya, I agree.. Really can see a few rm 50 removed… fuh~~ sakitzz hati.. so the day end here and we go back to her house… hehe

The 3rd day… erm, refresh back first… hanyit ask “yam cha” and we sat ourselves at old town. We chat and chat quite a lot of things.. Bout certain people “pao-ing yi lai” and talking bout how “DBKL or MPKJ” cleaning stuffs… hahahaha… laugh there like gila also,… pengsan… around 1pm, its time hanyit took off.. his bus was at 3pm so he went back get ready himself to his journey to kl… we went to tesco that was juz opposite of oldtown.. go jalan jalan awhile..

There goes another rm50… haha… we bought ourself a bottle of root beer, 1 packet of pre-made soup, a packet of 1 kg fries and a few things I cant remember of it… I came up with an idea of buying her ice cream, nice 1 and an expensive 1 that was juz rm30 something but Dear cancel it and put it back to the correct place… she says wait me get a job and good salary only buy her anything… well, I dare to say this gave me motivation to go for any job that were willing to hire me into the company… the day ended after we went out to have a city tour… seriously, I dunno there is a sunway lagoon at Ipoh… I don’t think I’m a jungle or sakai people… but I really dunno… even my family members… hahahaha… that place was nice… juz that its not our luck at that time, raining heavy again and cant see clear of the things inner area of sunway lagoon from the outside parking area… hehe… we planned to go home after that but stop at a makan place… suddenly hungry… opsss… we orders a piece of fry chicken and 10 sticks of satay ayam… quite ok… satay was not hard and solid… its soft and easy to chew.. hehehe… now, we really went back home.. And prepare for my depart from Ipoh to kuantan… sobsss~~

I wonder why, no matter where the two of us go, people are always looking at us…

Are we that weird??

They saw ghost in shopping mall??

Are we too ugly??

They envy to see two couple that are so match?? Hahahahahaahhaha…

Kidding only~ well the answer remains a question to us…

Monday Morning comes and Dear has the idea of goin Mc.D for breakfast... we ordered our dishes and took pics after the meals at Mc.Ds… nice… although it’s a simple breakfast, to me; it was a happy moment in my life before boarding the bus back to kuantan… Dear gotta go work at that time so I waited at the bus station around 10am, and lastly arrives at kuantan around 5.30 to 6pm… its like people go work at 9am and off work at 5 or 6pm… haha

Well Dear, thx a lot for receiving your generous hospitality.. and I really enjoy every moments being around with you~~ aikss… come to think of it… 7 days per week is not enough… I would wish for more… from now on, I misses you more than before and have more feelings for you than ever… I hope can see you next month also… hehe, I try to focus on 2 things like what you told me… dun worry Dear…

Although I maybe the lousiest boy-friend ever, I wish you know that you are always deep into the bottom of my heart… I love you Dear~

mEng LunG (明龙)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 at 12.52pm

2008-12-24T12:34:00.005+08:00

Hello~~ anyone there?? Knock* knock* hehe

Hi, I’m back at last to the blog world and it’s a long time I haven’t write any blogs as I don’t have internet at home and I have to walk myself to cyber café(CC) which the walking distance can make you thin… haha~~ but seriously, who goes CC to write blogs?? Normally, there users who applying on9 jobs, on9 gambling =_=” and of coz the most important of all….. “GAMING”  powerful word at CC…

Lolzz… wutevar the reason is, I decided to type at home and post it at CC… and that is not a choice~~( house no $$$ apply streamyx, what to do… have to save, save and save.)

3…

2..

1.

Start…

Looks like there were a lot tension’s arising around my group friends particularly after few months back ending our convocations. There is a lot stories bout people “pao yi lai” means by having a third party involved in current relationship. There is a lot stories bout this and that person started relationship. There is issues bout shifting houses. And lastly there are issues facing the reality world of the workforce.

Talking bout “pao-ing yi lai”, I have to apologize for bringing this matter out… kaka… plz don’t hurt me, you guys know who I’m referring to… for next time I’m going Sabah, don’t kill me ya… hoho

Well, bout this matter something I could really ask is… did you lose anyone before?? Someone who you won’t see anymore and chat anymore and importantly, you won’t be with the person closest to you anymore in this world?? Juz for a hint, a person does not have any traumatic childhood background cant answer such questions. I do loss a few of my friends, I think there is 5 or 6 of them… different gang of groups, some are closest to me during form 1, 3, 4, lower and upper 6… someone who accompanies by walking back home, someone who will struggle for food with a bunch of gangs, and someone who join you “yam cha” at the warong outside of my house junction.

Haha… life was so beautiful being with them... But it is painful when each of them leaving this world... Does anyone understand what kinda feelings I had? I can say it is not something I can tell here in da blog… I juz wanna type out for:
1st killing my time

2nd juz feel to type something

3rd tell out what I feels bout this “pao yi lai” stuff

No offence to anyone involved in my blog… really, seriously… any offence… hehe

I personally think that, a person having third party involved were not those who appreciates current partner in their relationship. The will of the person are not strong enough. And what I can say here is, they did not loss anyone before. I’ve heard a lot of friends saying; always being with their own partner make them have a word called “sien” which was to meant by bored. I’ve heard it from M, H, T and a lot more friends from my current university. I kept wondering why humans may come to the extend by thinking through this way. Is the word “sien” is applicable to any relationship??

To my opinion, try answer questions like; what do you do when your partner wont be able to be by your side every single day and night?? What happen if your partner is no more in this world where you can see their smiles, laughter, were you can share your personal moments with??? Doesn’t it made you realize that time was so short and time moves too fast to realize your old and losing everyone in your lives?

To myself, I’m not to say that I’m agreeing or disagreeing to those individuals who thinks of being bored always attached to their partner, I am a person who enjoys and appreciates every single second or minutes being with my partner. If I have the opportunity being with her 24 hours for 7 days, I hope god gave me 9 or 10 days per week instead of the 7 given. I dare to say, if I ever mention bout I’m being bored with my partner, please feel free to remind me of what I’ve written in my blog. I dare to say I wont ever come a cross with the word “sien” with my partner for every single day I’m with her.

The purpose of typing this blog is trying to give out message that, treasure all of the time being with your partner and don’t neglect every single time you could spend with your partner.

I do believe that you can’t predict what is going to happen tomorrow. Anything could happen while your not aware with. Currently there is 1 sort of a friend of mine whom I played basketball with during younger age, slashed by thief at the morning at his own car porch when he’s trying to go into the car. The next day, pictures bout him published into the paper. I forgot what date already…. Aiksss… Player down, I repeat... player is down…

Haha… this is the moment, I would like to end up this post of blog now. Please, some of you guys out there who add-in the word “sien” in their relationship, take some of my advice… I don’t know if there will be anyone would agree with my opinions and thoughts but that is what I am and what I’ll be. As for anyone felt offended in this blog. I would like to beg for your forgiveness okay? Apologies to anyone involved into my blog. And I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And take note that, Chinese New Year is juz around the corner, new clothes, new stuffs and of coz no new partners okay?? Hahahahahaha

untitled 12 April 2008 at 3.41pm

2008-04-12T14:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes what you expect to get is not what you will actually get. Things may not run smoothly as what you wanted. Some may success and yet some may fail to do so. Of everything that happened in our lives, there is nothing such as whose correct and who’s wrong. Haih…

Well, I should have continued my story but due to lack of idea I had to postpone it to another time… lolz…

The person that you truly have feelings for will eventually hurt you the most. In this case, should I say “for example: me”… coz it’s referring to myself. Should I or should I not?
“Someone” is the person I won’t forget, the person who always appeared in my previous blogs, the 1st person that hurts me the most, someone who I had fun with, and she is the person who doesn’t call my name before.

Imagine that you know that person for 1 year and you haven’t heard she call you by your name, and you don’t think she remembers your name too. Sad, a simple name but cant been heard from her mouth. She is a person who is talkative and not a silent type of person and yet can’t call a simple name out. What can we say? Do I really exist? Or, am I her enemy? Its clueless not matter what your assume it to be.

Words are indeed something important and not to be used in everything. Someone told me that words that are not reality verbally such as from chat room or messenger stated that word comes out from those chatting tools are not countable as compared to real life face to face interaction. Is it means like, when someone told you that their sick or whatever and do we need to trust it or what? Words came out no matter from face to face chat or from chatting tools chat were very important as feeling of a person can be determined whether they are happy, sad, grumpy, aggressive or defensive. It doesn’t mean that when someone is stressed up, they must find a person to express their feelings. So maybe not willing to see anyone and may well using chatting tools as intermediaries for communicating. She uses to tell me that you can’t predict whether what the person is thinking through chatting tools. Well hell ya, sorry to tell you that what you wanna type for me I predicted earlier than how fast your hands can type.

People’s feeling is a prior for taking care of coz you may hurt someone accidently and causes you to have lesser network of friends. Telling hurtful words may just kill a person’s mood. It’s good for a person to always stay calm and try to understand why she done that? Is it purposely to release her anger or due to other reasons? No matter how much feelings you have for the person, I can assure you will not able to take it when come to the extent where she really “kek (Cantonese)” you until “vomit blood”. Not to say that you’re picking for a fight with her and she is the one provokes you into quarreling. Well, someone may have quarreling as a hobby, nothing is impossible.

Please understand that don’t make a person cares you a lot and lastly you kill a person out of your life. It’s unfair for a person to being hurt until the deepest ground. You wont know how painful especially when the person you love hurts you the most. Well, try it then you know it. “Mari cuba cuba, cuba sekali hari hair mau” nice quote rite? Haha, well such things were complicated to be understood. “Life is too serious, why not just play and act?” from Wong yih tyng’s quote. Well I’s almost graduating, now was my final exam period. So, needa study like mad for it. Kill kill kill and die die die. 4 strong subject were famous for its failing rates. Scary indeed. So, I would like to end this now. Just concentrate wholly on my studies and 1 more thing, I may have graduated 1 more month but I will be at Sg long after graduating coz I will work at KL while staying at here. This place is more peaceful and I’m with my beloved car. Just can’t wait to graduate with my 1st car I paid for it… hohohohoho~~~~

mEng LunG (明龙)

shine to me please~~ 27 March 2008 at 1.57am

2008-03-27T01:17:00.003+08:00

I need more than the sun to shine up my life... I’m in the cold, lonely and dark abyss that none light has ever shined through...

I’ve been searching for exits out of these ruins... each way leads me into a dead end where something lies within... steps of "them" were noticed from a far place and makes me to run even further deep into it... sides and sides I’ve been through yet I cant find the way out... the noises are getting near as my heart is pumping more faster than normal...

Suddenly, I saw light from a certain direction... I rejoice, thus forwarding towards the source of light... a big hole was there when I reach the place... noises were too near to be heard... I decided to jump into the hole... I shouted, and I found out that the hole is wide; too dark to see anything... it feels like being into a place with a boundary less world... I landed into this abyss, I felt intensive coldness that shivers me to the bones... my body is in vain... the hands and legs, shivering along with the cold environment yet I still running towards my exit...

"Where is it??"
"Why is this place cold and lifeless??"
"What is happening here??"
"Safe me, anyone if your out there!"

Those were my thoughts for now... why haven’t I found anyone around here?? And why I can’t reach the light even there is nothing blocking me??
The noises were not to be heard since I jump into this area...

Please, I do hope to get back the light... at least something shining to me so I will gain my power... a hope that will save me from this misery... I don’t wanna stay in this area anymore... I felt that I’m lifeless here... a body with an empty soul...
Not now, not just now to be lost here... I’m a person that have great friends following me around and lastly I got ended up in such place... please comeback to me my observer, intelligence, courage and judgment... where are you guys have been?? I need you guys now in my life to guide me through every moment in my lives... help, help me now!! I beg u my friends..!!

the light... it was still far away, its a very small source of light... and the power is still strong enough to keep me going... this light(hikari) is my savoir but first, I need to obtain it before my lives expires...

Light, light, light
Where are you hiding now? lifeless human... you have no chance of survival... surrender yourself to us... its better to join us rather than keep getting the things that is not possible to have... you lose human... you lose...

These words were spoken as I proceed straight to the light...

Light, light, light
I may have your blessings, save me with your strength... I have every faith in you... you are my light that shines upon me... you’re my hope for survival... and with you, I may get back my friends... I need you... hikari ga... doushite hikari ga... bokuwa jettaini taoshe... bokuwa no akiramenaide... hikari go boku suki desu... hontou ni.. suki desu... yare yare... itsuka kitto hikariha mieruhazu...

to be continue...

mEng LunG/ Baby DraGon_vErgiLe

March 19, 2008 at 2.06am

2008-03-19T02:05:00.002+08:00

yoZzz! i balik dah kawanZzz ku~~

hi... apa khabar semua~~~ a very good day to you guys ;-)

at last... presentation, midterms, and assignments were out of my schedule~~ its wut i shud celebrating for such a long period bz-ing with those coursework...

wut shud i blog-in today... haih, finish coursework dy... stress level is decreased by 70%... left now is stress from other sources~~ tak kira financially, family and friends or relationship problem... all still waiting for me to solve it...

no matter how izit? something new arrives here... a new approach towards networking that opens a new path for any alternative i chooses... well, its a good start for me after all...

now is the time, the time to polish back wut i really am... no more the one who create disaster, a destroyer, despair or etc... one shud be changing now, new hope arises... a hope for improvement again is awaken from within that shud patching things up~~

lastly... finals is juz around the corner... after 3 more weeks.... life gonna be tough... sigh, hope im still at year 2... wut to do... sigh~~

DraGoN_mEng LunG~~

Best I Ever Had

2008-02-23T01:17:00.006+08:00

To AC,

This song was recommended by someone nice I knew. Quite “sam pat” and lot things can be joke around with her. She and her roomie~~ “ah fat” always can be ‘kacau-ed’ anytime 24/7(24 hours 7 days). I wonder why she send me nice songs suddenly, izit influence from her “giLa” roomie or what because from the person I know, she is in doubt “siao”, totally “siao”… need throw her in tampoi or tanjung rambutan. Or just lock her inside outside house… hehe~~ sorry “ah fat” ;-)

Back to the title, the song is called “Best I Ever Had” sang by Vertical Horizon, a band that consist with a number of 4 magnificent man and was formed in the year 1990. This song was out on the end of the year 1999. Well this song was awesome and I wish to dedicate it to someone I mentioned before in previous blogs~~ and that particular person is AC. Hope the song I pick for you were appropriate to be applied on how your image or so called “reputation” that are within me all these while~~

Ohya... bout this song, hope you guys found it or heard it. I guarantee this song will do goods in your ears. Try to download it. It’s worth to get urself a copy of such nice song or you guys prefer to purchase original copies?? It's your decision.

Lastly, I will provide you with the lyrics of this song. Nice, lovely, simple and meaningful song.

mEng LunG

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had
So you sailed away
into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus:
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter

Make yourself feel better

Chorus:

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
run away and hide
And I may find in time that
you were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
love can be so boring

What was it you wanted?
Could it be I'm haunted?

Chorus:
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever hadBest I ever...

Feb 21, 2008 at 12.09am

2008-02-20T23:31:00.004+08:00

Hi, lastly I decided to updated my blog~~~

CNY is over and bz week are coming due to assignment date lines, midterm exams, activities and etc. What a short holiday but yet it was so relaxing. (Except for the thesis part). Times left so much and now, it was less than 2 months before graduated from UTAR. Damn, I’m gonna miss this place because of the frens I usually go lepak together and the times spent during college days.

Graduation, izit means by getting separated from buddies or cliques and not to meet after this whole graduation thing???

There is a sentence, "once a fren, and alwiz a fren" I guess this word was commonly used by me on any conversation with my buddies. "Hai heng tai, mou khai kau la" Cantonese... if brothers, dun kira so much la~~ haha!!

Seriously, really will miss the person I knew here... G,Ct,JL,Et,LM,Yc,F,Tl, and also EC, fellow classmates, group mate, UTARians and more.

But den, special misses to the person called AC... this person, I’m gonna be missing h** a lot... hard to say such thing but, I think I will miss h** more than other people I knew... anyhow, cant do anything bout it anymore, graduation is just around the corner...

AC, this person... damn special, tall tall, wears specs, keep saying that need to keep fit by skipping dinner to accompany h** frens for dinners... man, I think this is what I will miss a lot... ntg more can compare to this particular person... really no choice, graduation soon, ntg to say la~~ haha!!!

Well, AC someone that was familiar to me... a person that was like myself due to similarity on quite number of aspects except for different opinion in certain sensitive issue.. AC, by all means was mirror-ing the person I am all the while. AC was the person who really made me chat without any constraints or hidden issues, we both chat very well either in MSN or face to face or during phone calls... I won’t fear chatting with a person like AC... Anything can be chatted to AC

AC, a special person to me??? For now, yup... AC represents a lot of goodness on why AC was so special to me... hehe... AC was a lot better than anyone I knew, at least having similarity with me...

but... AC now is different, AC turned into a well fine g**, and it was a pleasure to get to know AC during my "yam char" with my roomie, F... if h* did not ask me to sit down to have a cup of tea, I dun think I ever have a chance to get to know a great AC..

Although there are times that I’m downed due to AC, I will still be glad becoz I gonna met such a good g**...

to AC,
if u read this post... I hope u dun scold me or pinch me until my bruises turn "blue-black".... haha... I really appreciate u a lot... thx AC for being in my life...

mEng LunG

Should or shouldn’t I..??

2008-01-20T02:52:00.000+08:00

Hmmm… it’s playing in my mind again, as usual with the help of thesis, assignments, coming presentation and of coz mid terms!! Every sleepless nights, it keep spinning in my mind especially thesis that was to be handed around 15 February. It’s something that kills a person’s energy as we need to sleep to regain energy we lost during the day. But it seems that this was gonna be an obstacle for a person to regain our energy through a good nite sleep. Obviously, with those “things” spinning in my head, there is no chance for me to have a “good” nite sleep. It was useless unless I open my text book and start studying. I guess it was a good method for gaining sleeping orderly~~ haha! Sorry, but I haven’t tested it yet... I certainly hope that these “shit” were over and I can at least gain some sleep “without” any worries… BAGERO!!!

Well, the title of coz is not for me to juz write bout sickening mid terms or assignments rite?? These study tasks are compulsory where there were no choice for a person to whether “should or shouldn’t” complete it… compulsory, if not… fail forever… I mean it, forever~~

Should or shouldn’t… erm, hard to decide, hard to accept and hard to reject.

1) Hard to decide. Based on what happened lastime, I do have been trained to be alert towards whether to proceed or abandon the things I’ve started during year 2 sem 3. It was hell, but I gained a very important thing that what a life should be included and it’s called “LOVE”. I already had gone through hells and pits, what else more that would be worse for me?? Haha... See, tougher already rite?? No choice, experience teaches a human into how to survive living. Each wrong step creates more defenses towards the similar problem a person faced. This time, what I wanted? Will I try or just abandon..? Listen to your heart, half of the part says I should really go on but another part says that I shouldn’t go on..? What choices do I have?

2) Hard to accept. Whenever a person harms or hurt you, will you be able to say words such as “I forgive you on what you’ve done before” or “Get the HELL out of my sight!!” Well, it depends on which type of attitude a person has. Forgiving is something kind but izit worth for a person to be forgiven for the mess he/she created..? It’s better to ask yourself what is forgiving at the 1st place before chooses to forgive someone. Plz bear that in mind, you hafta be sure how your level of tolerance was over a wrong doing. If not, you made a wrong judgment.

3) Hard to reject. On what I had known, memories were meant to be kept within our self not matter it was ending happily or sadly. Good memories encourage a person to accept back what a person is, while bad memories usually driven off acceptance for a person. Man… sometimes it was unfair but life goes on. Either you die or I die. Anyway, based on what you had for the person… u may not going to be cold hearted to hurt a person, therefore you will have to try to find ways to make a distance between both parties. As a result, losses were minimal and the word “hurt” was not applicable in any of such matter…

Although there was something bad done by AC, I won’t just gonna push her away becoz I done mistakes when it wasn’t should be in the 1st place. I had blamed myself for not asking or consulting with a person I knew. It wasn’t merely your fault and I understand it well enough. Although I was abit disappointed during that period, it takes times to heal. And I guess it’s enough time for healing now.

Haha!! Wut da heck, it was like in economy or finance classes becoz until the word “minimal” were used… omg… this is what happen when a person barely control his lose mind~~ what to do… my last sem, gonna strive hard towards every obstacle that was new to me… its time to end this “shYt” and quick celebrate Chinese New Year with my love ones~~

DraGoN_vErGiLe

6 JAN 2008~~ nice lyric and song!!

2008-01-06T19:38:00.000+08:00

This sickenning songs i heard from stupid Kent... damn him... hav such song... suites the scenario im having~~~ damn damn damn... anyway, thx for ur blog's recommendation~!!
the song title is "Just So You Know" by Jesse McCartney.. its damn nice... and well, sings out wut i wanted... kaka!!! joking.. anyhow, i juz post up the lyrics~~ try to get the song ya.. and plz, dun download... heard dat alot ppl caught and fined for illegal downloading~

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

(the chorus starts here)

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to, be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
and look the other way

And I don't know
how to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
and I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize,
it was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...
been waiting here

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

haha~~ tot of posting something... to all jesse mccartney's fan, he is really something!! jesse forever!! hehe!!

DraGoN~!

4 JAN 2008 at 1.20am

2008-01-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

Wut I am? Like a lost soul... without existence and everything... experienced teach me well, there is a hell lot of guidance to wut a person had gone thru his life...

its a good tips to make sure that similar things wont happen in the future~~ anyhow... when someone expects the worst, it doesn’t mean they will end up broken... miracles can happen... but once if you think your loss, everything is finish..

Be strong, built up defenses for yourself... it may reduces more losses... tough up yourself, brace for more unexpected things... life is a learning ground for living, a defeat doesn’t mean there is no winning in our lives~~ everybody is given a chance to win, it depends on how a person get the chances and the opportunity to go on with the chances.. Please bear in mind that, it’s hard to get back chances that were always around our lives...

Appreciate every chances you get, by then its even worth if you miss the chances... get hurt as much as possible... you would get stronger... every step bring us to victory... yeah~! And lastly, dun forget there are alwiz someone who watches us~~

I am called DraGoN by someone... and I will alwiz stick to becoming a DraGoN no matter wut had happen~~ ;-)

DraGoN~~

control or release... oni 1 way!! hehehe~~

2007-12-11T01:35:00.000+08:00

hihi~~ nothing to do now... trying to blog out rather than of being inside the room studying. damn bored~~ haiz...

As for now, that matter really is troubling me. To CONTROL or to RELEASE. Oh man, it was something "b.i.g" to be decided for the next level.

1st alternative, to CONTROL.

Izit possible to control ur feelings over the person you "l.o.v.e". The answer is, 'yes, of coz you may'. The only problem is that how much it costs to control it. A feel for someone was something that you unexpected and unpredicted. And for a person to control your own feeling for someone was very suffering.. opss, too extreme... i may well say that its painful.

You cant act like wut you usually does, you cant say wut you wanted to say to her, and most of all is that you cant try to love her as how you wanted too. Its like hanging in the air where you cant reach towards heaven and cant drop to the hell. keke~~ nice description rite? between hell and heaven.. like in da movie.. haha! sorry for cold jokes~~ or craps you may assume it to be... ;-)

2nd alternative, to RELEASE.

This is where we are talking about risks involved in it. Ur hearts pumping like hell when after you release or i would say that confess the feeling you have to her. Pray that you'll get favorable rewards, if not... i think your hearts stop pounding adi~~ haha!! means your dead man... dead... in the coffin or cremated into dusk.. hehehe~~

Well, what i wanna say here is that... It is good to release out, rewards are optional, whether you get it onot... it doesnt matter.. wut's important is that you hav the guts and confident to say the 3 words which is ( I L*** Y** )... hahaha!! At least you will have experiences and guess wut, practice makes perfect babe~! no kidding yo~ it really does... try more get more... but not try more die more... plz... dun try it if you hav a weak heart... dun make your frens or family paying for your funeral... cost alot money juz to dispose you out of this world.. haha! crapping oni la... ntg serious ya...

For such matter, i will hand it to time to decide which alternative that should be chosen. time, i really need it... argh!!!!!! fighting with time crisis... damn it!!

Anyhow, the final exam will be haunting me on 12th and 14th DECEMBER 2007.. man, im more affraid of taking exam rather than confessing to a gal... once you fail, you may never turn it back... understand wut im saying.??

So, i would like to wish all those who were having exam a very goodluck and after the finals... its christmas time!! let's party dudes~~~ yuhoo... trying to play santa in this x-mas... dunno got the opportunity onot~ yeah babe!

1 DEC 2007 at 9.30pm

2007-12-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

Erm... what I’m gonna write at this moment? Strange things keep playing in my mind and it’s endless. I would hope such things wouldn’t bother me at all but yet, I still dunno what the problem is. It’s all started yesterday when I was going for a movie at leisure mall with C, M and YH. Before the movie I was just as energetic as ever but after the movie finishes, I felt emptiness like I had lose something I always have by my side after finish watching a movie. I still can’t figure it out. There is one thing; I certainly hope that my brain is not playing mind games with me. I just can guess what the problem with me is and I hope that was not true. It had been within me since I attended an event which my society takes part for thumb painting and it’s called “GegarU” that is organized by another campus at PJ.
Ever since that day, my new chapter of life was starting to ignite. And it’s up to me to bear my own DESTINY~

mEng LunG

Hmm~~ what I’m thinking now?

2007-11-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

Well, it’s me now blogging here… What izit feels when you know that you had found the “one” you wanted, and you can’t do anything even if you know? Will you release or will you approach her? Such question, take a huge consideration. Decision made here was critical. You could or maybe make the wrong choice. But, if there were chances, will you take it even you know you’re gonna fail? Every step is not reversible. If you go to 1 path, you will stick to that path forever.

Guess what! My answers were to take the risks to approach her. You may want to proceed with it as long as maintaining the condition of your life as now and please remember that when you start, there were be no turning back. But from here, at least you could start to have the responsibility towards every move you made that would impact her.

To my point, you’re so comfortable with her, joke around with her, play around, chatting together and lots more. When you notice that you could get along with her, why don’t you take the risk? You won’t lose anything unless you had done something foolish that will kill your own self.

If it was me, I would take the risk. But it’s better to make sure earlier of how’s her perception of me. Is it good or bad? Or Izit just not something she will think off? You maybe ready and you know what you wanted, but you have to think on her side. Her thoughts mustn’t to be ignored. She is a gal, a human and she have feelings too.

You will be hastily anxious or excited to know her answers and please be reminded that the answers were not as expected by you. You may end up getting “lemons” or an egg rather than joy and happiness. Expect the worse before something bad happen.
Thus, preparation had to be made. If not, you will spoil everything. I’m not confused on what I wanted anymore; in fact, I’m ready to be a superman to strive hard to get what I want. Its just time that everyone needed and its critical to me. I wish that, this would come true like all others outside there~

DraGon

A man of determination

2007-11-04T13:42:00.000+08:00

naam yi dong ji keung
nan er dang zi jiang
A man of determination

Defiantly facing the ten thousand layered waves
O hei o siu man chung long

Burning with righteous spirit like this red sunlight
Yit huet yit sing hung yat gwong

Courage like forging iron
Daam si tit da

Character as strong as stainless steel
Gwat ji jing gong

A mind a hundred thousand feet wide
Hung kam baak chin jeung

A vision ten thousand miles long
Ngaan gwong maan lei cheung

I go all out to make the country strong
Sai fen yiu faat ji keung

To be a good Han/Chinese/man.
Jo ho hon

In order to be a good Han/Chinese/man
Jo goh ho hon ji

Every day you must push yourself
Mui tin yiu ji keung

The righteous spirit of a hero
Yit huet naam ji

is like the noonday sun.
bit sing hung yat gwong

Sea and sky yield their power for me to gather
Yeung hoi tin wai ngoh jeui neng leung

Let me fight for my own destiny
Heui hoi tin pik dei

Towards my ideals I will charge
Wai ngoh leiseung heui cheung

Witness the azure waves, tall and vigorous
Hon bik boh go jong

and the azure skies, as broad and vast as my indomitable spirit
yau hon bik hung gwong fut ho hei yeung

I am a man of strength and determination
Gei si naam yi dong ji keung

Stride proudly and stick your chest out everybody be pillars of the nation
On bo ding hung dai ga jok dung leung

Be great heroes
Jo ho hon

Use me to ignite a hundred spirits;
Yung ngoh baak dim yit

Shines outwards like a thousand spectra.
Yiu chut chin fen gwong

To be a good Han/Chinese/man
Jo goh ho hon ji

Ardent and courageous spirit
Yit huet yit cheung yit

Brighter than the sun
Bit sing hung yat gwong

Sea and sky yield their power for me to gather
Yeung hoi tin wai ngoh jeui neng leung

Let me fight for my own destiny
Heui hoi tin pik dei

Towards my ideals I will charge
Wai ngoh leiseung heui cheung

Witness the azure waves, tall and vigorous
Hon bik boh go jong

and the azure skies, as broad and vast as my indomitable spirit
yau hon bik hung gwong fut ho hei yeung

I am a man of strength and determination
Gei si naam yi dong ji keung

Stride proudly and stick your chest out everybody be pillars of the nation
On bo ding hung dai ga jok dung leung

Be good Han/Chinese/men
Jo ho hon

My ambition ignites a hundred spirits;
Yung ngoh baak dim yit

Shines outwards like a thousand spectra.
Yiu chut chin fen gwong

To be a good Han/Chinese/man
Jo goh ho hon ji

Ardent and courageous spirit
Yit huet yit cheung yit

Brighter than the sun
Bit sing hung yat gwong

To be a good Han/Chinese/man
Jo goh ho hon ji

Ardent and courageous spirit
Yit huet yit cheung yit

Brighter than the sun
Bit sing hung yat gwong

Haha… guys, I think all of you out there know what lyric is this. Anyhow, I just post this for fun ya~~ no meaning or what, just is my habit to post something up. =)

YuKi No HaNa~~

2007-11-03T18:23:00.000+08:00

A man’s shadow lines the pavement
You walk in the twilight
Always holding my hand
If I’m by your side, I might not have to cry

The winds becomes cold
And I can smell winter
Gradually, in this city
the seasons will change as you come close to them

This year, the first snowflowers bloom
as we draw closer
As I look upon this time
the hapiness overflows in me
If we depend on each other’s love, we’re not weak
I simply, love you
These thoughts are straight from the heart

Whatever happens, as long as I’m with you;
I get the feeling that I can overcome anything
I know we can have this kind of life forever
So I pray that it will continue like this

The wind sways the window
and at night I wake up shivvering
I’ll chance any sadness
by putting a smile on my face

The snowflowers flutter down
outside the window
Though I don’t know why they stop falling
we will dye this city
We may think
“for who’s sake are we doing this?”
But we know it’s because we know love

If you ever get lost
I’ll become a star, and light your path
At night, when you smile, or get wet with tears
I’ll be by your side, always and forever

This year, the first snowflowers bloom
as we draw closer
As I look upon this time
the hapiness overflows in me
If we depend on each other’s love, we’re not weak
It’s simple, I just want to be
with you like this forever
So I can feel your gentleness

Pure white snowflowers,
pilling up in this city
In our hearts, we quickly draw our feels,
I’ll be with you forever, from this moment on...

Certain situation can turn the tides.

2007-11-01T10:56:00.000+08:00

There is something that is important to be considered before anything was said or done.
Things that are sensitive and cause confusions around were to be thoroughly think before you judge an action.

When something that is sensitive to you were said, a person should be able to take into consideration of what is said calmly. Feel what is correct and which were not. Any decisions made from this point will changes everything in the future. In result, you may face a good ending or maybe faces a sad ending when everything was all over.

Things were said or done may causes confusion. It should be avoided and not to be thought in “one” mind. That was a wrong thing because it would provoke someone feeling and you may not aware with it. Try to understand what words are to be spoken before you made a mistake. Type words that won’t be a problem to being understood by “one” and words used mustn’t include words that were sensitive to a person. The one make decision to say words would be accountable towards everything and that was a huge wrong whereas it may cause distrust in “one” mind.

Thus, get to know things that another person dislikes and change it. Whether you’re changing or not, it’s up to a person to decide form themselves. If you truly love a person, maybe, you may not even mind what the person had done if things get worse. And if you truly love a person, changing your own attitude was not a hard task to be done. Don’t let negative attitudes to control over yourself. It may cause “all good things turn to an end”.

Try to understand what is happening. Really need to differentiate which is true and which was not. And of coz, understanding from each person was important. You may not even need outside information to determine whether how true a person is to you.

It’s like how I treat "you" as a person. Important or not, it’s up to "you" to decide. I had made my decisions very clear and loudly here. Because it’s easy to place a person’s heart into someone special while it’s hard to get it back. And I’m willing to continue it with my full heart. =)

my name is mEng LunG~~

2007-10-28T10:48:00.000+08:00

What I am?

Am I someone that being branded as a person that fools around anytime and everywhere?

Am I a person that treats love relationship as a toy?

Am I a person that has a lot of people understands what I really am?

I really dun have the answer.

1st of all, I’m still wondering who I really am. I still can’t accept the fact that there are a lot of friends or unknown out there that thought I was a person who was always fooling around. I wonder how many cliques I had mix with? The person I mix a lot and was so close is with my gang~~ G, C, EL, M, YH and lastly ER. Other that the people I mention here, I dun think I’m closer to anyone other than them. So how could “one” possibly ask other people about me when I just mix with them? Those answers were not what “one” was searching and yet it may prove to be a fraud. If “one” compared the answers of the people that was close to me such as the above (G, C, EL, M, YH and ER) with those that was just a normal friend, I dun think it would be the same in fact the answer given by close friends were usually treated as a fake. People would think that close friends will help their friends too. But that is true; you mix with someone long enough. Automatically, every step made by you would be notice by them. If not why we called it as “heng tai” if a person dun understands you as what you are? Are they so blinded? I dun think so.

When it was a fake, a lot of people will believe. When something is true, people will not trust. This is something that was already a norm in the society.

So, this is how I’m being branded and soon I will be marketed as a defect product. Isn’t it great? Quality was judge before sending to inspection.

Things that I told “one”, was so true. How could a person that often get hurt by girls suddenly play girls? This was something that would kill me a lot that 9 lives were not enough to cover it up. A person that doesn’t believe usually was influenced by something. Or either, “one” had a bad image of a person before anything starts and maybe “one” did not have enough confident on a person. “One” should have his/her own perception of the person and judge someone not through listening to others, it would be best to explore what kind of person he/she is. And also, emotion drags into someone to be so harsh and so hurt in their words. That is how misunderstanding occurs as word was gushing out too painful to accept. Emotions play a killing role if the person was so particular in words used by “one” and “one” doesn’t think of he/she was bound to say. The victim only can listen and any reply or answering to her words will be ignored in such stage. It’s good to avoid someone that was to emotionally intact, then the person will not being hurt deeply.

Anyhow, it’s up to how you guys will think about me. I dun give a f*** of how you guys think either. I just will be what I am. No f*** at all. If you think that I’m bad, go to h***. I don’t need you to judge me as what kinda person I am. I know myself very clear than anyone else. And remember, my name is mEng LunG. I’m not other people. Please remember that. Remember what a person told you and remember how the past of a person is before you could judge that person. If not, you will end up being taken away by a word we called as misunderstanding. I appreciate my friends around me especially those were very close to me. I dun need to tell anything to them, they just know my nature automatically even without communication. I love you guys. Friends forever. ^_^

DraGoN

understanding~~

2007-10-27T16:39:00.000+08:00

Hi all~~ it’s me again blogging in the same date I guess~

Sometime, when you’re starting to try to love someone there is a lot things that you’ll need to think deeply.

The main thing is whether the person is really what you wanted. It’s hard to determine which person you should choose at the beginning where everything was fresh. The only way is to ask your heart that will always proves to be effective. If not, you’ll have to test. Each person has different thinking and personality. Some people tend to be very mad at you for testing them and some people can figure out what your gonna do in testing a person.
It’s a matter of how you do it and how efficient you are when you’re testing someone.

It’s not good to have a positive sign generated from a person; it’s preferable if a person shows you negative signs. It shows that how much a person cares for every step that you made. And by then, u would notice that which person that you are really starting to fall for and you will go straight right to his/her without anymore considerations. You would care more of the person as you know that you had hurt someone’s feelings. From this, you can learn. Learn more about understanding your love ones and even further and deep enough for you to fall for. Understanding or communicating are very important, any problems occurs from it will cause a huge failure.

Usually people tend to choose someone that was near and had known for quite sometime.

You know what type of attitude a person has,

You know any weaknesses and strength a person has and

You know the whole background of what the person has.

Try to think back whether steps made by a person have reasons behind it; you may not know why a person does the wrong step and still going through the path. It is all for you to discover. And when you made it, it would be a relief for you to be able to have someone for yourself.

DraGon

2007-10-22T19:16:00.000+08:00

Haiz… new sem starts with a new beginning. Once again, some friends were separated due to the elective subject of this sem. At this moment, new assignment groups had been established and old ones will be separated (not all). In my elective subject, I join a 4 new members group. It was fascinating. We all had a lot differences but we still manage to get on to our case study analysis and our group assignment analysis. Surprisingly is that, our determination to finish up our assignment are highly enthusiasm. Huh~! So happy to know that our group can start to merge together, although it’s a short time but at least we had been together before. Every group ends up with different results; it’s either a good or bad result.
There is a lot things keep playing in my mind. I really don’t know what is happening to my brain. It keeps generating unnecessary “impulse” and that is killing me. Damn it~
But lucky I had found the greatest problem. It’s the old same problem I had during my year 2 life, bout financial and friendship problem. It’s suxs. Both of them are spinning in my head. But what to do, if there is no problem in our lives, life would be boring and no challenge at all. Haha! Wut da heck~
Anyway, I just need support.
Support from someone I always wanna chat on the phone.
Someone that had been hurt before and that would stand up now to intake other problems.
Someone that has a strong will in life.
Support from you would change everything. Maybe you don’t feel that it’s important but to ME, IT IS. It's just depend on how you think your support will be important to a person that needed it the most.
As for now, let time be the factor to determine which decision I made was the correct choice.
DraGoN ;-)

All good things come into an end~~ yeah!

2007-10-07T19:07:00.000+08:00

All good things come into an end and yet I’m so happy bout it~~

The feel seems like I’m released from a place of sadness and confusion and now into the wide blue ocean. The breeze was blowing strong into me, awakening me from the despair.

Incidents after incidents pass and now are the time to accept any new obligation into me again. No more thinking of what happen in the past, it’s more into improving my past to survive in the future. When there is a determination, there will be a hope for survival. If you don’t have the determination, you’ll end up dying even before you start. To fight is to survive~~ yeah!

There is a song lyric from “trinity blood”. I guess its familiar among anime fans. The song’s title is “Broken Wings”. This song really reflects a lot thing that had happened on me. It was a mirror of life to me. I like so much about the chorus of this song.

“My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with,

My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind?

Across the sky, just keep on flying.”

Haha...

Things happen are already over, now its time to end this feeling. Let the heart open and feels come in and stimulates me around. Let the beautiful color light up my life again.

my love~~

2007-07-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

I love you very much~~ I don’t know how much I loved you and how deep I love you... I really felt that you’re the right person for me... at least, the most perfect person for me...

You told me a lot thing about yourself although those things are not on the good side... to love a person, we have to ignore the past of that particular person... I have my dark age too... if you could accept me for such person, why dun I accept you for being that kind of a person... to love someone, I really just love you for who you are and not anything else... if your a bad type of person, I dun even care about it... as long as I got to take care of you, sitting beside you and watch you smile and be happy... that's all what I need... sometimes when you told me about going clubbing or what, I hope can stop you... but I’m not your anyone... I’m just your friend; it's just that I really care for your safety... I don't want you to get into trouble and the most important is that I don’t want anything bad happen to you...

Seriously, if there is something happen to you... I wouldn’t go on with my life anymore... life would be meaningless if without u by my side... it would be hard to me to survive...

Actually, I continue my studies for you... I know that your not that good in your studies... that had make me to have a mission for staying back in year 3... I don’t want you to be a failure... I don’t want you to suffer in your life... so that day when you ask me to edit your assignment... I really put my whole effort for that assignment to ensure that you will obtain high assignment marks and as well as high in coursework marks... I want you to be success... As long as you’re happy with what you had achieved... I will be happy too...

Now, I just wanted you to finish your studies… I hope you can make it until you’re graduated from the university... I don’t hope to be anyone important in your life... just that if u could SMS or call me, telling me any news about you and that's just enough for me...

So, I will help you at any cost!! I won’t let you down~~~ trust me... you can count on me... as long as that thing makes you happy... I would be ready to sacrifice anything for you to make sure you will have better life... and of coz, I don’t want anything in return from you... not anything from you... I don’t want to gain rewards by helping you... I volunteer to help you... I don’t want you to be my love too... simply for better understanding, I don’t want you to be important in my life... you just carry on to be a happy person... and of coz, I wanted you to take care of yourself... at least be more healthier, don’t get starved too... you always wanted to be slim... but for me, your just too gorgeous... too perfect now.. So why you wanted to make something perfect to be imperfect... women are hard to understand... trust me~~~ my eyes wont lie to me… what I had saw and told you… that was all my true feeling for you…

I learn a lot thing from you…

The 1st thing I learned is to really and deeply love someone. This was the happiest thing ever happen to me. I really loved a person and I loved her so much… I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me… and I was glad to love someone, at least I understand the feeling of loving someone~~ see, my heart won’t lie to me too… I follow my heart, it gives me any signal… I will just follow

The 2nd thing is that when you love someone, please don’t assume the opposite party will have the same feeling towards you… u cant assume something like this, you must explore… explore until you had found the right answer, the answer will satisfy you although you maybe ended up with a sad story… please, dun ever have 1 sided love… you will be in trouble if you do that!!

The 3rd thing is to sacrifice. Sacrifice anything to gain your love ones. Time, money, health and a lot more… it’s very worth to love someone if you compare with those… I still remember when I have assignments, and final exams… I still go find you and teach you the subject that I didn’t studied before… its hard, but I felt great… if proves that I’m capable into handling an unfamiliar subject within a few hours… I still can arrange the busiest time in order to have you accompanied too…

The last thing is the experience for me to love someone. Although it didn’t go like what I had planned, but at least I know what to do next when I appear to be in loved with another person… I know when to be there with you and not with you…

So, this blog… I hope you didn’t see it… I just post up so that someone else could understand me more… at least understand how serious I am in my life… not just because I always smile will means that I doesn’t have any problems in my life… I hope I will be in loved with someone else… hehe~~~ waiting now, don’t know who’s the new target now… but of coz I have someone listed in my mind… haha! Hope one of them will be my gal~~
If not then I think I better graduate and find a nice job… by that time, hope can improve myself… I will be better and better, even better to win the hearts of the particular person… trust me!! Everything can settle!! No fear~!!

vErGiL ;-)