Should or shouldn’t I..??

Hmmm… it’s playing in my mind again, as usual with the help of thesis, assignments, coming presentation and of coz mid terms!! Every sleepless nights, it keep spinning in my mind especially thesis that was to be handed around 15 February. It’s something that kills a person’s energy as we need to sleep to regain energy we lost during the day. But it seems that this was gonna be an obstacle for a person to regain our energy through a good nite sleep. Obviously, with those “things” spinning in my head, there is no chance for me to have a “good” nite sleep. It was useless unless I open my text book and start studying. I guess it was a good method for gaining sleeping orderly~~ haha! Sorry, but I haven’t tested it yet... I certainly hope that these “shit” were over and I can at least gain some sleep “without” any worries… BAGERO!!!

Well, the title of coz is not for me to juz write bout sickening mid terms or assignments rite?? These study tasks are compulsory where there were no choice for a person to whether “should or shouldn’t” complete it… compulsory, if not… fail forever… I mean it, forever~~

Should or shouldn’t… erm, hard to decide, hard to accept and hard to reject.

1) Hard to decide. Based on what happened lastime, I do have been trained to be alert towards whether to proceed or abandon the things I’ve started during year 2 sem 3. It was hell, but I gained a very important thing that what a life should be included and it’s called “LOVE”. I already had gone through hells and pits, what else more that would be worse for me?? Haha... See, tougher already rite?? No choice, experience teaches a human into how to survive living. Each wrong step creates more defenses towards the similar problem a person faced. This time, what I wanted? Will I try or just abandon..? Listen to your heart, half of the part says I should really go on but another part says that I shouldn’t go on..? What choices do I have?

2) Hard to accept. Whenever a person harms or hurt you, will you be able to say words such as “I forgive you on what you’ve done before” or “Get the HELL out of my sight!!” Well, it depends on which type of attitude a person has. Forgiving is something kind but izit worth for a person to be forgiven for the mess he/she created..? It’s better to ask yourself what is forgiving at the 1st place before chooses to forgive someone. Plz bear that in mind, you hafta be sure how your level of tolerance was over a wrong doing. If not, you made a wrong judgment.


3) Hard to reject. On what I had known, memories were meant to be kept within our self not matter it was ending happily or sadly. Good memories encourage a person to accept back what a person is, while bad memories usually driven off acceptance for a person. Man… sometimes it was unfair but life goes on. Either you die or I die. Anyway, based on what you had for the person… u may not going to be cold hearted to hurt a person, therefore you will have to try to find ways to make a distance between both parties. As a result, losses were minimal and the word “hurt” was not applicable in any of such matter…

Although there was something bad done by AC, I won’t just gonna push her away becoz I done mistakes when it wasn’t should be in the 1st place. I had blamed myself for not asking or consulting with a person I knew. It wasn’t merely your fault and I understand it well enough. Although I was abit disappointed during that period, it takes times to heal. And I guess it’s enough time for healing now.

Haha!! Wut da heck, it was like in economy or finance classes becoz until the word “minimal” were used… omg… this is what happen when a person barely control his lose mind~~ what to do… my last sem, gonna strive hard towards every obstacle that was new to me… its time to end this “shYt” and quick celebrate Chinese New Year with my love ones~~



DraGoN_vErGiLe

6 JAN 2008~~ nice lyric and song!!

This sickenning songs i heard from stupid Kent... damn him... hav such song... suites the scenario im having~~~ damn damn damn... anyway, thx for ur blog's recommendation~!!
the song title is "Just So You Know" by Jesse McCartney.. its damn nice... and well, sings out wut i wanted... kaka!!! joking.. anyhow, i juz post up the lyrics~~ try to get the song ya.. and plz, dun download... heard dat alot ppl caught and fined for illegal downloading~

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you
but I want to,
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

(the chorus starts here)

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to, be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
and look the other way

And I don't know
how to be fine, when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
and I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize,
it was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...
been waiting here

Just so you know
this feeling's taking control of me
and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go, of you
but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

haha~~ tot of posting something... to all jesse mccartney's fan, he is really something!! jesse forever!! hehe!!

DraGoN~!

4 JAN 2008 at 1.20am

Wut I am? Like a lost soul... without existence and everything... experienced teach me well, there is a hell lot of guidance to wut a person had gone thru his life...

its a good tips to make sure that similar things wont happen in the future~~ anyhow... when someone expects the worst, it doesn’t mean they will end up broken... miracles can happen... but once if you think your loss, everything is finish..

Be strong, built up defenses for yourself... it may reduces more losses... tough up yourself, brace for more unexpected things... life is a learning ground for living, a defeat doesn’t mean there is no winning in our lives~~ everybody is given a chance to win, it depends on how a person get the chances and the opportunity to go on with the chances.. Please bear in mind that, it’s hard to get back chances that were always around our lives...

Appreciate every chances you get, by then its even worth if you miss the chances... get hurt as much as possible... you would get stronger... every step bring us to victory... yeah~! And lastly, dun forget there are alwiz someone who watches us~~

I am called DraGoN by someone... and I will alwiz stick to becoming a DraGoN no matter wut had happen~~ ;-)



DraGoN~~