What I am?

Am I someone that being branded as a person that fools around anytime and everywhere?

Am I a person that treats love relationship as a toy?

Am I a person that has a lot of people understands what I really am?

I really dun have the answer.

1st of all, I’m still wondering who I really am. I still can’t accept the fact that there are a lot of friends or unknown out there that thought I was a person who was always fooling around. I wonder how many cliques I had mix with? The person I mix a lot and was so close is with my gang~~ G, C, EL, M, YH and lastly ER. Other that the people I mention here, I dun think I’m closer to anyone other than them. So how could “one” possibly ask other people about me when I just mix with them? Those answers were not what “one” was searching and yet it may prove to be a fraud. If “one” compared the answers of the people that was close to me such as the above (G, C, EL, M, YH and ER) with those that was just a normal friend, I dun think it would be the same in fact the answer given by close friends were usually treated as a fake. People would think that close friends will help their friends too. But that is true; you mix with someone long enough. Automatically, every step made by you would be notice by them. If not why we called it as “heng tai” if a person dun understands you as what you are? Are they so blinded? I dun think so.

When it was a fake, a lot of people will believe. When something is true, people will not trust. This is something that was already a norm in the society.

So, this is how I’m being branded and soon I will be marketed as a defect product. Isn’t it great? Quality was judge before sending to inspection.

Things that I told “one”, was so true. How could a person that often get hurt by girls suddenly play girls? This was something that would kill me a lot that 9 lives were not enough to cover it up. A person that doesn’t believe usually was influenced by something. Or either, “one” had a bad image of a person before anything starts and maybe “one” did not have enough confident on a person. “One” should have his/her own perception of the person and judge someone not through listening to others, it would be best to explore what kind of person he/she is. And also, emotion drags into someone to be so harsh and so hurt in their words. That is how misunderstanding occurs as word was gushing out too painful to accept. Emotions play a killing role if the person was so particular in words used by “one” and “one” doesn’t think of he/she was bound to say. The victim only can listen and any reply or answering to her words will be ignored in such stage. It’s good to avoid someone that was to emotionally intact, then the person will not being hurt deeply.

Anyhow, it’s up to how you guys will think about me. I dun give a f*** of how you guys think either. I just will be what I am. No f*** at all. If you think that I’m bad, go to h***. I don’t need you to judge me as what kinda person I am. I know myself very clear than anyone else. And remember, my name is mEng LunG. I’m not other people. Please remember that. Remember what a person told you and remember how the past of a person is before you could judge that person. If not, you will end up being taken away by a word we called as misunderstanding. I appreciate my friends around me especially those were very close to me. I dun need to tell anything to them, they just know my nature automatically even without communication. I love you guys. Friends forever. ^_^

DraGoN

understanding~~

Hi all~~ it’s me again blogging in the same date I guess~

Sometime, when you’re starting to try to love someone there is a lot things that you’ll need to think deeply.

The main thing is whether the person is really what you wanted. It’s hard to determine which person you should choose at the beginning where everything was fresh. The only way is to ask your heart that will always proves to be effective. If not, you’ll have to test. Each person has different thinking and personality. Some people tend to be very mad at you for testing them and some people can figure out what your gonna do in testing a person.
It’s a matter of how you do it and how efficient you are when you’re testing someone.


It’s not good to have a positive sign generated from a person; it’s preferable if a person shows you negative signs. It shows that how much a person cares for every step that you made. And by then, u would notice that which person that you are really starting to fall for and you will go straight right to his/her without anymore considerations. You would care more of the person as you know that you had hurt someone’s feelings. From this, you can learn. Learn more about understanding your love ones and even further and deep enough for you to fall for. Understanding or communicating are very important, any problems occurs from it will cause a huge failure.


Usually people tend to choose someone that was near and had known for quite sometime.

You know what type of attitude a person has,

You know any weaknesses and strength a person has and

You know the whole background of what the person has.


Try to think back whether steps made by a person have reasons behind it; you may not know why a person does the wrong step and still going through the path. It is all for you to discover. And when you made it, it would be a relief for you to be able to have someone for yourself.




DraGon

Haiz… new sem starts with a new beginning. Once again, some friends were separated due to the elective subject of this sem. At this moment, new assignment groups had been established and old ones will be separated (not all). In my elective subject, I join a 4 new members group. It was fascinating. We all had a lot differences but we still manage to get on to our case study analysis and our group assignment analysis. Surprisingly is that, our determination to finish up our assignment are highly enthusiasm. Huh~! So happy to know that our group can start to merge together, although it’s a short time but at least we had been together before. Every group ends up with different results; it’s either a good or bad result.
There is a lot things keep playing in my mind. I really don’t know what is happening to my brain. It keeps generating unnecessary “impulse” and that is killing me. Damn it~
But lucky I had found the greatest problem. It’s the old same problem I had during my year 2 life, bout financial and friendship problem. It’s suxs. Both of them are spinning in my head. But what to do, if there is no problem in our lives, life would be boring and no challenge at all. Haha! Wut da heck~
Anyway, I just need support.
Support from someone I always wanna chat on the phone.
Someone that had been hurt before and that would stand up now to intake other problems.
Someone that has a strong will in life.
Support from you would change everything. Maybe you don’t feel that it’s important but to ME, IT IS. It's just depend on how you think your support will be important to a person that needed it the most.
As for now, let time be the factor to determine which decision I made was the correct choice.
DraGoN ;-)

All good things come into an end~~ yeah!

All good things come into an end and yet I’m so happy bout it~~




The feel seems like I’m released from a place of sadness and confusion and now into the wide blue ocean. The breeze was blowing strong into me, awakening me from the despair.


Incidents after incidents pass and now are the time to accept any new obligation into me again. No more thinking of what happen in the past, it’s more into improving my past to survive in the future. When there is a determination, there will be a hope for survival. If you don’t have the determination, you’ll end up dying even before you start. To fight is to survive~~ yeah!




There is a song lyric from “trinity blood”. I guess its familiar among anime fans. The song’s title is “Broken Wings”. This song really reflects a lot thing that had happened on me. It was a mirror of life to me. I like so much about the chorus of this song.





“My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with,



My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind?




Across the sky, just keep on flying.”





Haha...


Things happen are already over, now its time to end this feeling. Let the heart open and feels come in and stimulates me around. Let the beautiful color light up my life again.